Friday, June 27, 2008

Hurricane Season

I'm from Texas. I mean I was born here in Rockford but I was raised in Texas so I really always consider myself a Texan, so when I think of storms I think Hurricanes not tornadoes or earthquakes as some would. Right now I feel like I'm finally getting out of one. It seems as though for a long time I've been struggling with the concept of being a stay at home mom, homeschooling, having 4 kids, etc. etc. I mean I don't STRUGGLE, but it's been weird. Jeremy says it's because I'm a very ambitious person. I don't see myself that way, but maybe there is some truth to it. I have had to grow and become okay with being a stay at home mom. I guess society and my own self-reliance got me to think that I wasn't really doing anything because I was "just a mom". That's changed now. Not only am I now okay with it but I have begun to really understand the great job I've been given and now feel myself truly turn my "ambitions" towards it. I've really come to realize when an art homemaking is. I mean if you try to be good at it. I've just really started to try to crack down on budgeting, planning meals,planning school-in advance-taking care of myself, etc. All these things I've done but not with the same passion or vigor I've just recently discovered. I feel like I'm coming out of a fog and it feels really great. We've also been trying to sell our house to no avail. The current state of the real estate market has truly hit us. No one is buying or they expect the world for nothing. So as of July 1 our house will be off the market and we will be staying put, at least for another year. Although this means another year in a very small house, it's somewhat comforting to know. At least I feel like I can get my life back on track and not worry about showings or open houses on Sundays. No more cleaning like a maniac and disrupting my whole day and week sometimes. I can actually leave a mess on the floor for a day and not freak out. I might even be able to repair my relationship with my kids. Poor things and the dog, run and hide whenever they see me begin to clean."Don't touch that!" and "Just sit down and don't move!" Have been yelled way too many times lately. So the hurricane is subsiding and I am so thankful. I might still have time to enjoy the summer-yea. :)